2016 is emotional

all of us is fighting for life !

for as long as i put my shoes inside others people
i know the feeling of longing someone attention

it's called considered and toleration

but yet people keep on compressed me with their judgement and prejudice,

then, i said,

who are they to judge me? my life that i been working all my might
all of my patience my hard work, everything just disappear once i be furious

people labelled me as madness,

what did i do wrong to make people keep on taking me out?
pushing me down, yet some chained me!

because, some want to success without hard work, using me as their bait to success,
yet... i  don't mind,

but no ! keep offence me ! keep treating me like animals, am i animal?

yes, i am mammals species but, why they treat me like some pest?

we're from the same ground, same world, same time yet, difference with others personalities and traits. that called unique.

then, when i strike back, they tried to pulled down making me back away, 

thus i realized. they are thirst of jealousy and lust they are none better as i am, they just took a wrong path !

whose fault? it's yourself dear !
you close your eyes to see the world, you close your heart to accept people success yet you complain when you didn't try anything !

know yourself better !

i know where my place is !
who i am is not for you to judge !

what am i, is not you who decide !

stand in you own principal !

mind your own business and others won't bash you like i do... i won't be like you !

i promise you, i will strike back with kindness yet this time with a little avenge added in it !


if the soup is sour, but some spice and let the others received the pain ~

Everything is futile

life is hopeless
but there's hope in less,

i'm may be fragile and people would want to destroy my happiness

yet...
I feel ignorance, oblivion and being such a fool

follow people order, i'm really am truly dumb.

yet..

i figure out to turn the table, to change the world, to

make things better, why am  the only one who's seeing this? 
why?

i could not find the answer, 

deep inside me,
i cage my roaring soul,
lock it, chain it.. truly, i am amazed with my own strength. 

but... 

what am i keep fighting for??
who does it belong to?

UnTiTlE

Experience

I have never felt this humiliation.

I tour around the school after 2013,

I remember those days of mine,

I am an average idiot girl, walking around the school totally enjoying my days with friends and un-socialized with the teachers as they turn against me.

My hatred of school really built me to the extend suicide is really one of my top priority.

Depression really are my best friends, those glare they gave me was frightening me, but my friend keep on give me positive and help me a lot, she really try to build up my self-confidence/

So, when I go tour the school can you imagine, how embarrassed I am, all the teachers that once taught me not once remember me, I was so disappoint to extend I don’t want to remember them,

But, I feel sorry for my friend so, I play along with her,

The truth was I don’t feel anything.

 I look around and I just totally enjoying myself,

Whom the one that change me?

I don’t know.

Maybe because I just want to run away from the world, I have enough.

I am not one of the favorite students, not a popular child,

In teens, I encounter conflict with life, struggle with studying and I felt a great burden of weight my family been putting on me.

What can I do?

What should I do?

There, I found one solution that you should never help people that only pursued their path for success for themselves.

I admitted, I am selfish but I will tell you the truth, I don’t know how to teach people, I really bad at communication and I gave up on have the interaction with human,

What’s the point when people wanting to see me fall to ground and they stomped on me as their staircase?

They are truly useless and trashed to the society and allergy that I hate the most.

Look what they have done to me, torn on the street of success, wounded and injured, nobody are willing to help me.

Nobody

EVEN MY BEST FRIEND

So I’ll tell you one thing

And that is

VALUE YOURSELVE MORE THAN OTHERS,

TREASURE YOUR FAMILY THAN STRANGERS

AND

PLEASE TRY TO ENJOY YOUR LIFE

I know it is really hard, but eventually you could make it.

I believe in you, so please survive this hopeless battle like no end,

Because it really paid off,

All those patience and quiet will be notified by someone that you could never expect because

Life is full of surprises.

In conclusion, there’s one teacher that reminds me and keep on supporting me and updated me, she really worried about my whereabouts and now

Here I am soon-to-be an engineering employment

There will be someone at the end of the tunnel of darkness, misery, tears, failure, heart broke and path to be successful,

That is

Your PARENTS, your LECTURES/TEACHERS, your COMRATE, and

YOURSELVES

Never stop trying!

That’s all I could do, I couldn’t guide you that much, but I want you to experience it!

self-destruct

recently ,
i have read sensei kunshu
and it really sucks
like why must we need love when our finance still been giving y our parents?
like you don't have others things to worry about?

the girls only talks about LOVE
boys talk about CARS

SONG OF MISERY ~

Looking behind

Nobody is chasing after you…

You don't need to worry

I'll be fine

For now ~~

I shall cry again

As my pathetic life keep on rolling down the mountain ~~

Fetter ~~

a chain is attached to my ankle 

well that chain is called
responsibility 

also
meaning i am alive

the thing is
i dont want to be alive

but i dont want to be dead useless

so, i am in the middle of somewhere dead alive

that why i call myself
a zombie human form

perfectly fine on the outside
but rotten inside

that what human truly are,...
the foul smell fly though inside your nostrils
and send shivers and tears to your eyes..

even your cell body cannot accept it presence...

#particularly_my_mind_in_state_of-confusion

I Am Worthless

at the age of 20 years old,
I found that,
God had made me stronger at that such young age..
so that I can go through my life with a wires that wrap around me
I just need to find players and gloves to protect myself and my family
It's life of cycle,
You wouldn't know what you're capable when your instinct of survive strike you..

Greeting ma man ~~

So,Finally!!
day Off!!!
official breaks for the new coming semester 2

it's tired some~~
and guess whatI'm really am happy with my result!!
I'm happi and grateful !!
all my hard works and Biach problem settles down for good ~

Let's remain happi n cheerful
despite i am rotten (almost decay of boredom ~~~)

Thank eveibody for cheering me !